Friday, October 30, 2009

Diet

Mint Chocolate: Purely Decadent: ice-cream: dairy-free: bought this through Nick Littlejohn's Whole Foods Markets $10 gift card which he got since the place was not doing so good, he complained, but they can do better. I bought that for almost four dollars and then ten dollars worth of some healthy nuts mix, here, NW, near my place, 9pm or so, Thu, 10/29/2009, when I bought them, the log, maybe, of this dog, kind of, but point of writing this is almost 1am, Fri, 10/30/2009, or 12:54am in the first floor lobby with Nick doing life down here for the future.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Elevated Awareness

Once upon a time, all was well. Obviously, something was coming. It would not have been the first time something like this would arise.

In the mist of elevated success came this dark cloud in a struggle against assumed success within an international stage.

Awareness usually come at a cost. The usual cost is in correct fear. In the mist of a cloud lies answers that are slowly dying. Underneath the remains an extended awareness for life, for love.

The desire is that we may gain all of this without any pain. Even if we were to be at a lookout, the iceberg would still hit us.

Unfortunately, truth alone does nothing. The visual signs are not enough to erupt change. It takes a stock market crash. It takes lives lost to shake us to a pivotal change.

Awareness is usually deemed after the visual look of peace around us. We have to be shaken and not stir to action in keeping our freedom.

How many firefighters will it take to get you out of this one? Where you there? Or where you part of the miracle? Where you late to work? Are you currently in another country? How many soldiers will have to die for this one event? So we can keep our freedom, our food, our stores, our 7Eleven stores, our Seven of Nine Star Trek characters. Is the truth out there? Will we boldly go to counter this one event?

Where you there when they crucified my Lord? No, that is just a song (maybe not "just a song, but never mind that). But in this elevated awareness, where you there when they hit us?

Where you there when everything came tumbling down? Where you alive when everything came crashing down? Do you still have nightmares about those people who came to do those acts of terrorism? Where you thinking Pearl Harbor all over again? Where you feeling the elevated stench of disgust?

Where you feeling affected even from the West Coast side to such a crash? Where you looking for a man in a beard to shift all blames and excuses to? Where you sad that you were missing your favorite TV shows due to coverage on the extensions and implications of such a security threat or event? Did you run on over to the airports to see if they were really shut down?

Or did you bow to your knee near those buildings with crosses on the sides of them? I have heard some kids say, "Oh, did that happen during the Civil War or Declaration of Independence."

How does this event make you feel? How could it not influence you in any way? is there anybody still left standing in trying to guess what event I am talking about? Are you still left standing, guessing? If you are still left standing, after all of this, then you sure did make it through step one. If you are still standing then there is hope after this very event (have you guess it: September 11, 2001). If you are still standing then this event has totally impacted you.

Because then, even through those buildings are no longer, you are. Even through they are no longer standing, you have rose to that elevated awareness.

You have rose above the rest for that change!

Because we can!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

communicate

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Between You and Ronald Gilden
Ronald Gilden October 25 at 10:19pm
Joey,

My first order of business, and something that's been concerning my heart, is what's going on with your sisters? I've not seen either of them since Janet and I went our separate ways, and it seems like... seems like they're continuing down a path that leads to bad things. Anyway, that's what I was inferring from your post, but I'd like to hear more about your conversations with them, and where they're at emotionally/spiritually.

Subsequently, how are you, emotionally/spiritually?

I'd like to hear your (point blank) thoughts on this Torah stuff. I can see people are treating you roughly, and they shouldn't, but I think they just aren't understanding you. I talked to Blake about your communication style, and he assured me that there's a method to it, I just haven't quite figured it out yet. I wouldn't mind a more candid conversation about it with you.

I earnestly hope you're doing well. Get back to me when you can.

-Ronnie
Oatmeal Joy October 25 at 11:18pm
First, we can talk about my sisters. They believe in them. It sound nice. It is inspirational. They believe that each human is an infinite being! They either believe this or they at least say that they really do. Both my sisters live together, several blocks from me, down-town Portland, OR in some PSU (college) housing place. If you were to ask them, they would probably brush to the side a few minor details about their past. We were raised by our strongly devoted Baptist mother & alcoholic/ workaholic/ abusive father who was raised Mormon. Katie went to a private Christian school until high school. We all partook in Christian clubs. Crystal was baptised at the age four. She memorized verses. So much can be said about their past. I was just telling Blake, these last days, that it seems that my sisters are saved. This would mean that they are strongly denying it. Or were they ever saved to begin with? I believe that a person can know for sure that they are totally saved! Once saved then always saved! And saved to serve! But I also believe that we cannot know for sure that another person is saved. My sisters believe in being happy. They believe in the universe. I quickly retorted just last Wednesday in person, "But I can't talk to the universe!" Katie quickly smirked, "Not with that attitude, you won't be able to." My one and only brother was telling me, several days ago, that they are saying ok things about life, about making the world a better place, about helping others, you know, which is all good, but the only problem is that they're missing one key ingredient. Jesus.

Ronnie, so, therefore, first off, we can talk about what they believe. I am still trying to figure out what they believe. But I do know that they are brushing off their need for a G-d. They are quite self-sufficient.

Secondly, we can talk about me. I just want to help people help people but only for and from and in and especially through the blood of Jesus. Spiritually, I feel God's presence all the time. Emotionally, I feel strongly lonely.


Now, I can always say more later. Thanks for caring. Thanks for writing. Sorry for writing so much everywhere. I always have so much to say. I am almost as bad as a blonde. I can be very offensive. Never mind my intent. I always have a lot on mind. I am always trying to make a point. But I usually do so in an invisible way. Even if I had something good to say, I usually say it in a fashion that is always incomprehensible. That might just be the definition to parables, but I can't just always like be Jesus! But too often I think that I can just throw random thoughts out to anybody anywhere. I like think too much. Blake was telling me this today and I started laughing really hard. But then I quickly stopped laughing. It is like I am too deep. But is that why I am so lonely? Because I'm always talking in non-English style. And in doing so, I miss the opportunity to actually relate to people. I spend too much time thinking that I am better than everybody. Oh, I went to so many years of Bible college. Blah blah blah. How dare I. But in doing so, I miss the opportunity in communicating.

In conclusion, spiritually and or emotionally, I am always getting better. Ronnie, now, when you see me, I always look like a mess. This past year, I have been feeling like a mess, point blank. On one hand, I am getting better. But on the other hand, I do feel lost......... who am i.... where am i..... what am i...... why am i.... how am i..... but more over...... where am I suppose to be really.... who am I really suppose to be...... how am I suppose to really live for Jesus........ I even want to move to California.... I know some people down there..... so.... we can always talk more about this whenever you want maybe..... I will continue to think about what you wrote to me.... but this is just a quick response for now..... thanks again...

Joey Arnold: 11pm: Sun: 10/25/2009: 414

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Joey Arnold

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